RIP Tea Cups

The scariest sound isn’t metal on metal, it’s fragile vintage teacups crashing forward when you slam on the brakes and realize how close you just came to a real accident. We’re kicking off Friday with margaritas and a story that’s way too fresh: a reckless turn, a full car of one-of-a-kind vintage teacups and plates, and that split-second moment where your body goes straight into survival mode. We talk about the heartbreak of losing irreplaceable pieces we’ve collected for years and why, in an event planning and party rental business, “stuff” is never just stuff.

Then we take the bigger lesson: how do you show up when something goes wrong and it’s not your fault? We break down the mindset muscle we’ve built over time, taking a breath, assessing the damage, and making a different choice so one bad moment doesn’t hijack the next 12 hours. We reflect on what 141 episodes of showing up has taught us about emotional regulation, self-awareness, and the kind of maturity that only comes from practice.

From there, we pivot into tools that prove your growth: flipping back through journals, revisiting old archives, and even remembering our early audio diary days. We also share what’s lighting us up right now, a creative content day that’s turning into community building, mentorship energy, and collaboration with mostly women-owned businesses, including moms doing it all. If you’re building a service-based business, craving connection, or trying to become the contractor of your life, this one will land. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a reset, and leave a review so more people can find the show.

Music Track: Building Dreams by Aylex Source: https://freetouse.com/music Copyright Free Background Music

Transcript

Friday Cheers And Catching Up

Barb 0:15

Episode 141. What's in your cup?

Lyssa 0:23

A good old margarita. And if I had my guess just by appearance, I'm gonna say it's a classic. I'm gonna agree.

Barb 0:30

So we're gonna cheers because we made it through the week. And if you know, you know it's Friday. We're here. We made it through another week. Yes. So salute, salute.

Lyssa 0:47

Yeah, quite delicious. Classic and delicious. Quite delicious. I intend on drinking this whole thing.

Barb 0:53

And we need to, right? Because if the intro was any given, it's been a week.

Lyssa 0:58

Yeah, it has.

The Near Accident And The Crash

Lyssa 1:00

I mean, literally on the way here, um, we I just I can't. I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to tell the world what happened because it's just it happened on the way here. So this is fresh off of an almost accident. Um, and it was not fun for the sake of the fact that we almost got into an accident and you know, ourselves, our bodies, all of those things. And then on top of that, you add in what was in the back of the car. And so we had 24 beautiful vintage teacups, 24 beautiful vintage plates, five beautiful vintage teapots, all sitting in the back. Um, and yeah, we had to slam on the brakes, which means that everything in the car shot forward because you know Judy got a big booty and the stuff was in the back, so everything just shot to the front. Um, and what a crashing noise did we get to listen to, all because some guy, person, I guess I don't know if it was a guy, couldn't see passion. It was a personal pickup truck and decided to make a left turn from the right lane. And wow. It was just the noise. I don't think I can ever unhear what it sounded like.

Barb 2:24

Our jobs are so unique, right? We don't have the typical office thing or even just the solopreneur at home thing where you're like most of the time you're fighting with your computer or your electronics because like your job is to work with this. While ours is, we also like have stuff, yeah, right? We have fragile stuff. It's fragile, vintage, one of a kind, never been seen before or again. We have things that we use to do our job. And when it's glass, when it's vintage, when it is going to a party because it's intended to be used, and then you hear the smash, chatter, crash, just like your homework.

Lyssa 3:21

There's only one place for it to go, and it's straight to your butthole. Oh my God. Like I, it's it's just a noise that is literally haunting me right now. Like, I can just hear it. And obviously, right, there was no contact. We stopped in time. We saved the day. We saved the day. We saved ourselves, and that's what we have to be grateful for. And we are very grateful that we did not crash. It could have been way worse, and we're grateful for our safety. And there were casualties. Yes. We lost three teacups and two plates. And that's sad because, like you said, these are irreplaceable things. I can't just go on Amazon and rebuy this plate. I can't go and rebuy these teacups. Like these were vintage, these were sourced, these were found one at a time, some of them. And now they're just like literally gone. They're in pieces. And that sucks. And it hurts a little. No, yeah. It hurts a lot. A lot. Because, like, especially too, right, when you have something for so long. We've had a lot of these things for the last four to five years that we've been in business. And I now am like replaying its whole life. Like, I'm replaying every party that I used those three cups and two plates in because they were so perfect and so beautiful and one of a kind. And they made such a statement to every event that they were displayed at. And I was so excited for them to be displayed at this upcoming bridal shower. And like, three of them won't be. I can cry.

Barb 4:59

And it's sad. We um we actually spoke about this with our wedding clients, Sean and Dee Dee. Um, their wedding anniversary was back in April, and we always make sure to reach out to you know our couples that first year and just shower love on them. Um, it turned out that we actually had a party that day, a baby shower. Yeah. And we were reusing some of the things that we bought for their wedding, right? So we bought these things and it was used at the wedding, and so much love, so much happiness, so much core memory, right? Was filled in that room, which in my belief that it gets trickled into our things because where else is all of that energy gonna go, right? I can only absorb so much love, and then there's that's the beautiful thing about love is that it like multiplies and it makes an impact. And I truly believe that our stuff is embedded with all of the love that it has traveled, right? It's whole story, and it's picked up love and happiness and joy every single time, and that's what makes our party so special, right? I can't, I that's just can't replicate it. I can't replicate, it's just embedded and fused in in the things that we use. And it's sad. That's why it's so sad because we hold the love, like that holds that teacup holds love. And when you drink out of it, you can be drinking love, you know? And it's sad when one goes. Um, and we had that moment. We heard we saw the car, right? We saw what's happening. Yeah. Stop, stop, stop. We did the thing and we heard the smash. Bam! Yeah, and we stood there. Oh, yeah. We we quit. Right. We we stood and we had to just sit in the oh shit. All of these, everything is smashed. We don't have not one single thing. That's exactly right.

Lyssa 7:00

One, that is exactly what it sounded like. Yeah, it sounded like 24 teacups and 24 plates and five teapots were all demolished. Like we dropped that shit off of a rooftop. And I was like, oh my God. Not only is all of this gone, but like at the same time, the business woman checks in and she's like, um, knock knock. You have a party tomorrow where all of these things need to be present. Where are you gonna source 24 vintage teacups and saucers and freaking teapots in less than 24 hours? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? So, like, that was another reason why I had to pause because I like freaked out at the replacement of all of these things because we still have a job to do. At the end of the day, we could be as sad as we want about our stuff, but I still gotta show up. And so that was that we had to take that moment in. I had to sit in the, oh my God, we almost died because this guy person trying to be so much better. You're good, you're good. You know, cut in front of us like that, slamming on the brakes. That could have been bad for Judy, that could have been bad for us, it could have been way more expensive than, you know, than just some teacups. And once you can accept that and be grateful, hold the gratitude for it not being us. Now I gotta go down and I gotta check what it what was the casualty here and it and it was our stuff. And so we did. Sat there. I was like, I'm not gonna go right now. I'm just gonna I need a second. I need a minute. It's fine. We're in a parking lot, it's cool. I'm gonna take my time, take a second before I get back into driving. Um, and then we did. We pulled in uh to the house and we had to assess the damage that we did.

Grief For Irreplaceable Vintage Pieces

Barb 8:48

And luckily, it was just right just what the three cups and the saucer. It could have been what we thought was the whole thing. Yeah. So I'm proud of us because in that moment we did not pop our lid, right? We took a second, we took a breath, we sat in the oh my god, all the things, and then we assessed. And from there, when we got back in the car, is when I was like, I'm just so grateful that it wasn't right. Like you're able to see the whole picture then. And I've never felt like such a grown-up. Not talking about it, not processing what actually happened, like that. Look at us. Give me a drink again. Okay, so I love that.

SPEAKER_01 9:34

Very good. I feel like it was very mature. So yeah, that's how the mornings. So that was our morning.

Lyssa 9:42

And then we were like, okay, now what do we do? Oh, that's right. We get to work. And you know, first thing on our list was to record a pod.

Barb 9:50

And now you get to hear about, right? This is the behind the scenes. This is the behind the scenes that we can't capture live because we're driving and we're in the middle of things. And shit goes wrong. Yeah. I did not start off this Friday in my journal saying, I'm almost gonna, I'm gonna almost get into a car accident and all these things are gonna break. That's ridiculous. I didn't even think about that. Not once, not once one time did that say, oh, that might happen in the day of that I have planned. Yeah. And shit happens. Shit happens every day. Shit happens multiple times a day. Yeah. How are you gonna show up? How are you going to show up to the shit that's happening with a, you know what, that shit was crazy. I'm gonna take a deep breath and I'm going to assess and then figure out the best way to move forward. Yeah. Instead of we could have lost our shit with said person. Yeah. And I can't believe you did that. Right. What were you thinking? Right? A different version could have popped it off. And we probably wouldn't have gotten to work on time, right? All the rest of the day would have sacrificed because we lost it and we popped our lid in that moment. Yeah.

Lyssa 11:01

So, like, kudos. I love that for us. Well done. I know. I love it. And I feel like those are the things that we are starting to own more, owning these moments where we're noticing the difference, noticing the maturity, noticing the growth, noticing the emotional intelligence that it's taking to survive the thing called life. And we are able to just, like you said, continue to show up, show up how we want to show up and do the things the way that we want them to do. Like you said, we had a day planned. And if I go and completely skirt and go this other path of anger or whatever it is to keep this moment in time in me for the whole day, like, how does that affect the rest of the things that I have planned? Right. Like, do I want to just mess up this one little moment, our our way into work, you know, is a little tainted because we almost got into this accident. Cool, that's in there. That happened. It's reality. Now, do I go and like allow that one thing that happened to me at nine o'clock in the morning all the way through my entire day to nine o'clock at night? And now my day is ruined instead of just my 9 a.m. I'm gonna choose the latter. And I'm excited that we get the opportunity to acknowledge these moments in our lives. I want to hold the gratitude for the fact that we have the time and space to sit on this podcast and share these moments in time and allow others to be like, damn, that happened to me. And I actually got out of the car and told that motherfucker this and that, and you know, every which way, and like maybe next time I'll choose a different option because that did ruin my whole day, and I don't want that to happen again. And I just think that that's pretty cool. Just gonna keep showing up, how we show up, and hope that that does help somebody else because that's what this is all about. That's what we do this for. We share stories, one because they're very entertaining. What a story I just gave you. You know, but it's a journey and it's so layered. And I think I am enjoying all the layers. I feel like in our older age that we're starting to embrace and embody, I can appreciate the layers. I can appreciate that things are so layered. Maybe that person didn't really see us, maybe they didn't even know. Maybe they thought that we were also gonna turn at the same time as them. I don't know. I don't know what that person is going through. So I'm mad at them because there were casualties, but at the same time, that's life. And you have to learn how you want to show up and be able to make those choices and be proud that you're making those choices to change that and to alter your day. Because yeah, now I get to just sit here on the pod and drink a margarita with my best friend. I'm not gonna allow anything else that happened prior to this affect that moment.

Barb 14:20

And that is a muscle that we have been building for years now. Yeah. And just now, just today, just this morning with that story, I can finally see, like, oh wow. Because of all of the small little opportunities that we were given over the course of these years to build this muscle, to take a breath, assess,

Choosing Calm So The Day Survives

Barb 14:45

and make a different choice. We have gotten to the point now where it's like it's it's making a big impact, right? Because we've built the muscle so much that we can now own the day. It didn't wreck my day. How many days are wrecked because of something that's out of your control? Yeah. And you just lose a whole day. Yeah. And that sucks. And I'm proud of us because we showed up. That means that we've had umpteenth time before this to practice taking a breath, assessing, and making a different, better choice than what my first instinct is. We didn't have that on episode one. We were just starting to learn that. And I think that's why these numbers, as they get bigger, that's what's sitting with me is that I can remember episode one through you know, 50, where we were trying, we were just trying, and I didn't believe it, and I wasn't good at it, and it didn't feel right, and it all of these negatives.

Lyssa 15:55

Yeah, yeah.

Barb 15:56

And we kept showing up, we kept doing the work, and now 141 episodes later, I can see the drastic growth, and that's crazy.

Lyssa 16:08

I am gonna pat myself on the back really quickly because I did not until you just said that. And you are so right. What's funny is I had talked, I think, on a couple podcasts ago about how um I never go into like our archives um in IG and Marg's um page specifically. And I did again recently, and it was a throwback to our first episode. Um and it was when you asked me, how do I feel about recording? If we want to ask again, I we couldn't recreate it.

SPEAKER_01 16:44

Ready? Yeah. How do you feel about recording episode one? I feel like I want to shit my pants.

Lyssa 16:50

That was that's my exact reaction, right? Because when you are scared, when you are petrified, when there is a person that is turning left from the right lane, your stomach goes into your butthole. It just does. That's where, and I was like, oh my God, I can't believe that we're gonna do this, that we are going to get on microphones, that we are going to record something that we are just talking, and then we're gonna upload that to the world. Anyone in the world on the internet will be able to listen to these words. That's petrifying. That's pretty scary. That is scary when you say that. Oh God. Holy shit. You know, and it's funny to see how now episode one, I wanted to shit my pants, and episode 141, I don't want to do that anymore. I'm good. Um, and like I want to be proud of that growth. We should be proud of that growth. That is that's pretty cool. And it was solely because we kept going, because we just kept picking the microphones back up. We didn't say, oh, well, that was a terrible episode, so we're not even gonna put that up. Like, we've literally put up every episode that we've recorded because like that's that's how we show up that week. And I'm sure there's gonna be some episodes that people are like, that's fucking hilarious. I loved it, listened. And then there's probably some where they're like, I that didn't really resonate with me. And that's fine. That is the point, I think. And we just had to be okay with that, and that's a hard thing to be okay with when you don't know in the beginning, when you have to just believe before you actually have any proof of concept. It's not the easiest thing, but like go us because now there is, there's so much evidence, and we have grounded into our voice, and it is easier to get on the microphone, and that's pretty cool.

Barb 19:01

It is, and why like why do we say all of this? Yeah, because it's transferable, right? It's not that we do this and you just listen, it's that you listen and you implement and you take away nuggets to well, what fits with me, or what can I tweak and what can be different? Our conversation with Brittany, I actually did it this morning. Um she highly encouraged us to go back and like read the journals and read these things that previous versions of you created, and now you're not that person. You've had X amount of time in between that, you're different now. Um, and she encouraged us to go back and just see, touch in with that person. And that's what this podcast does for us. It has captured us in a moment in time. That's what we were feeling

Proof Of Growth From Episode One

Barb 19:55

that week. That's how we showed up, that's what we could talk about, or that's what we were excited to share and all those things. We can go back and we can hear the growth and see the line, you know, move and groove. And I think a lot of people would really benefit from that. Yeah. Like going back, but that just means that you have to document. So my going back this morning, I never go back, right? I don't we're very much the same. I wrote it, okay. My check, yeah, done. Moving on to the next thing. And I went back this morning and I didn't pick anything specific. I kind of just like fan fanned the page and where it stopped, it stopped. And I read and I was like, damn, that's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy that back in I landed in like I think it was March, December, and then like May of last year. Okay. And the May of last year was like, damn. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy to see where you were in one year versus where you are now, how you're feeling, what you wrote about today versus what you wrote about back in May of last year. That was an opportunity for me to grow the gratitude. So I highly recommend that yeah, I'm gonna do that more. And now I'm kind of excited to do it more because I saw like such a good result. And I'm sure sometimes I'm gonna the fan is gonna stop at one where I was feeling the feels, and and I think that's gonna be important too because maybe I'm not feeling that way anymore. Yeah, and I can see a lesson you can learn from there. All the things that happened in the middle to get me to the other side. So I highly, highly recommend going back and doing whatever it is, right? Before we started this podcast, we recorded ourselves in voice notes.

Lyssa 21:58

We did, yeah. For a while, we had. Maybe like a year or so-ish, a little bit more. I think it started actually in 2020. So maybe it was closer to like two years. But we did. We had um an audio diary. We were keeping an audio diary. And anytime that we were just talking or we were laughing or something was just like going on, we would just hit play and just let it capture the sound that was happening in the room. Just so that way we can come back and listen to it. And I did not at the time make any connection to that becoming a podcast in any way, shape, or form. But like how cool that that's exactly what it evolved into. What a foreshadowing there.

Barb 22:36

Well, it's it's just it goes back to the story and the plot, right? It's always so good. We mean what we say when we say it's so good because none of this is let's do it because we think we're gonna like become rich and famous. Or let's do because this is truly let's do it because this is what is on my heart right now. And I know that we have something to share, and I know that we can help people feel and live better. Yeah. And that comes from a place of love, right? It's we love our lives, we love where we are, we love the growth and the reflection and the whole crafting of what it means to build a life. I think that is where we are, yeah. Where we are now looking at ourselves and no, I'm the contractor of my life. Absolutely. And I have constructed it in my ideal way.

Lyssa 23:32

Look how cool that is. Yeah, yeah. And knowing that that is possible, right? I think in the beginning we didn't realize that that was an option to live your life. We lived very much in the life was happening to you and not for you. And that mentality causes you to not necessarily believe that you can change and that you can make changes that can push you into a different direction. And what evidence do we have? I think that that's really cool. And I I do I love Britain for planting that seed because that is not something, like you said, that we do and we haven't done it. And you know, I will. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go back and do it. And I hope that it I can also fall in love with that that process because I do think that it's gonna be beneficial for us and for future growth and for, like you said, the the gratitude to know this is who I was, and this is the season of life I was in. And look at everything that I did to put me into this season of life today. There's no better evidence than the evidence of your own self-growth and self-awareness.

Journaling And Documenting Your Life

Lyssa 24:40

So I love that. Britain, you're a real one. Yeah, yeah. And on that, I feel like I want to talk about our content day because this was also a little bit of her idea. Like we knew that we wanted to do some type of like styled shoot or something like that, and we just genuinely didn't know how to make it ours, how to make it what we really wanted to do, and we were struggling with that. And through talking it out with her and her being so willing to be the photographer in this, um, I think it is birthing into something that's really freaking cool. Definitely didn't expect it.

Barb 25:16

No, definitely wasn't the intentioned plan or like the I just didn't know. He just had an idea, right? Very, very classic. Bar Lisa, I have an idea. And then poof, we do a thing. And as we go through it, we learn. And this is not any different. And I'm so excited. I we I love when we do creative projects for ourselves, yeah, because it hits different as a creative, right? We are creatives, we are service-based. My job is to bring your vision to life. And if you don't have a vision, then we're co-creating a vision. We are creating this based off of your story, what you're celebrating, all of that. And I'm just helping, yeah, you know, bring that to life. But when it's ours, when there's no one else to make happy except just the two little brains that are right here, that hits different because then the the limit does not exist. It does not at all.

Lyssa 26:22

And that just feels so good. It makes me radiate. Like it really does. I feel like it amplifies, like it just amplifies all of the energy where I'm like, wait, I get to do whatever I want. I don't I get to pick all the colors, I get to pick all the ideas. Like, yeah, no, that's and it's not because we don't love putting other people's love stories together because 100% love that shit. But again, when it's something that I get to take out of my brain, I get to use my juices and on and extract it, I just be surprising myself sometimes. And it's fun to surprise yourself every once in a while and kind of be like, oh shit, I could do that. And be like, oh yeah, that's right. Had self I'm back for a second time on podcast. You know, that's just where I feel like. And the best part of it is truly the community building behind it. 100%. Like it's just the best part. So, yes, while we love getting be getting to be creative and we love being able to put on these parties and do the things that we want, what we really get out of this is that community. Like, I love that we are working with new people. I love everyone who came on board and just like that eagerness, like that energy is gonna make the day just be so wonderful. And in classic Barlesha Fashion, we did not know what we were doing. And this is almost turning into a slight like mentorship type event in a way, because everyone who joined, this one specifically, is kind of new. Like they're new at this. It's like their first time doing something like that. So it's almost like I get to be this intro into this industry for you to show you how much you're going to love doing events, love, you know, the community that you're building events around. You're going to love being an entrepreneur, and it's because I'm going to give you the best experience in this content day ever. And that's all I want to do. I want to continue to inspire others in this craft because obviously we think it's the best that's out there. But in a world of entrepreneurship, you need support and you need other entrepreneurs to be like, hey, it's okay. Let's do it. Let's do it together. Let's have fun. Let's make this whatever we want to be. Like, you just need that energy because you can get sucked in to yourself and to your own business very easily. And again, in service-based business, especially something like events, there's never just one vendor. One person does not show up to a party. You need a lot of people to make a party happen. Um, so yeah, being able to kind of be that connection, to be that nucleus for all these businesses to come together and potentially

Building A Content Day For Community

Lyssa 29:05

work together in the future at, you know, other events, all the stuff, I am very excited.

Barb 29:12

I can see now that we had a rough winter. Yeah. Hibernation hit us really hard. And I think we were trying to stay positive and stay jolly while it was happening. And now, because I am so excited to connect and I am so excited to meet new community and build and like I don't know, like, let's just talk. Maybe you have a good idea and I want to be a part of that. Yeah, I can see how we were lacking that in the winter, and that sucks because regionally winter is just hard. It is what it is, what it is, and it's hard and all the things. And I'm proud that we stepped out of our comfort zone and came up with something that we've never done before. Yeah. And have constructed an opportunity to build community because we knew we were lacking. Yeah. We felt the disconnect and we felt like we're our party friends. Like let's party. And I think I know that this is gonna be amazing. I know come Wednesday night, we are gonna be hot, yeah, yeah, sticky, exhausted, and filled with so much energy. And I like I'm gonna be buzzing. I already know. Yeah, because that's just I'm so excited.

Lyssa 30:37

No, for real. There, there's a, you know, obviously, because we're in the service industry and we are the ones who come to the party, right? We we serve the party. They we don't get a lot of opportunities to party ourselves. You know what I mean? Because we are always doing someone else's party. So, again, to curate this event where we get to just kind of be ourselves, do our own thing, and have a little fun with other party people. I'm just here for it. I'm here for all of it. And I think it's gonna be a really great day. It's gonna be a really hot, great day. But we're gonna be on this beautiful Airbnb down Lake Ontario. It's just the most gorgeous view. And the yard is just it, it's literally perfect. It's flat, it's open, and you are open right up to the lake. And I can't wait for like that transition video because like I can see it in my head. I could see how this is just a big, beautiful, empty yard, and then I'm gonna snap, and you're going to see this completely put together lavish event. It's so cute in my head. It's

Women-Owned Vendors And Writing Blueprints

Lyssa 31:50

so freaking cute.

Barb 31:51

You know what I also love? Um, I would say 95% of our vendors are women owned businesses, and that makes me really happy. Yeah, some are mamas, some are new mamas, some are mamas with two babies under like three or two or three, and we're holding space. Yeah, we're holding space and saying, No, you can be a mama and do this too. Absolutely.

Lyssa 32:27

You can do whatever you want because you're the creator of your life, you're the contractor of your life. And if you want to make blueprints out where you own your own business and you raise your babies and you do all these things at home all at the same time, then fucking do it. There is no one out here that is going to write your life the way that you are going to write your life. So grab a pen and paper. It's always the best way to do it, not digital. Business cooking.

Barb 32:57

That's how we got this iContent idea, right? We were feeling stuck. Yeah.

Lyssa 33:03

And we grabbed a piece of paper and said, Well, what is gonna help us feel better? What feels good? And we did. We said a homemade event, a backyard, just putting on to the tents, like all of the things, all of the vendors there, all of your needs are taken care of, and it's just the most beautiful backyard that I was able to transform for you. That's what makes me happy. And now we get to do that, and I can't wait. So next week we do it, which means in two weeks you'll probably hear about it. No, yeah.

Barb 33:41

I'm gonna be like exuding excitement. I think we actually scheduled to record the day after. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_01 33:49

So we do love a good, freshy podcast.

Barb 33:53

Like when we experience something

Bridal Shower Setup And How To Find Us

Barb 33:55

fresh and then get on the mics, I think we give you our truest feelings.

SPEAKER_01 34:00

So it's true.

Lyssa 34:02

I love it. All right. Well, this feels like a good place to love and leave our friends because we have a bridal shower that we have to go set up, you know, talking about all that work, all that inspiration. So, this is the part where you guys are gonna do all the things. You're gonna like and follow and subscribe. You can follow us on Instagram and YouTube at Mark's Mindset Podcast. And if you're local to the ROC and you want to party with us at Homemade Events ROC. Until next time. Bye. But first, I want to drink this. Yeah, I was gonna say we could finish this first, right?