Ebb + Flow

A grapefruit margarita at 10:30 AM sounds like chaos until you hear the point behind it: we’ve built a life where we get to choose our mornings. That little moment turns into a bigger conversation about entrepreneurship, time freedom, and why your calendar should be a tool instead of a trap. We talk about the never-ending to-do list and how changing the narrative helps us feel less boxed in while still getting real work done.

We also go deeper into the mindset shift that “time is made up.” Not as an excuse to avoid responsibility, but as a way to stop letting the clock run your nervous system. We share what it looks like to stay grounded when plans change, why we’re proud of the earlier versions of ourselves who pushed through the hard seasons, and how emotional resilience shows up in everyday moments that used to derail our whole day.

Then we pivot into health, wellness, and routines that finally stick. We unpack morning and evening routines, the value of working with a nutrition coach and personal trainer, and why your food story can be tangled up with stress, mental health, and old survival patterns. We also share a very real wake-up call around diabetes risk and lifestyle change, plus the reminder we keep coming back to: you don’t have to like everything you do, but you still have to do it if you want the best version of you.

If this hit home, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s rebuilding their habits, and leave a review so more people can find Margs And Mindset.

Music Track: Building Dreams by Aylex Source: https://freetouse.com/music Copyright Free Background Music

Transcript

Cocktail Guessing And Catching Up

Barb 0:15

Episode one hundred and thirty-three.

Lyssa 0:19

We're just zipping through these. What is in your cup? Oh, margarita. So before we sip on this one and take our guesses, our last one, where we were like, it's this. It's orange juice. It's it's pineapple. It's wrong. It's wrong. That's what it is. It was very wrong. So it was passion fruit and coconut. So she did mix. So that is where it came in. And so I'm gonna defend myself in saying that I was heavy on the Malibu and pineapple for a long time. Um, and so I think that's where I was getting that coconut I was taking as coconut rum, which meant that the passion fruit turned into pineapple because passion fruit is tricky. Passion fruit tastes like everything except what it actually is. Passion fruit. Like what does that taste like? I don't know. It tastes like pineapple, it tastes like mango. It basically tastes like any other tropical fruit that is not uh that's not itself. But alas, we were wrong. You know. Uh and this week, this week is cool, she got us again because I have no idea what this is gonna be.

Barb 1:26

It's giving tropical, it's very peachy, pinky, great. It's dark. I'm it's giving orange. Delicious. So salute to another week partner.

Lyssa 1:36

I love it.

Barb 1:41

Oh, that's good. That's real good. Like that went down smooth.

Lyssa 1:46

It did. That part, that part.

Barb 1:49

Mm-hmm. Okay. I'm gonna say fruit.

Lyssa 1:55

This is giving sex on the beach. How do you know all of this? I used to drink a lot. There was my it's so funny. And then I don't want to say I used to drink a lot because I definitely didn't used to drink a lot. But my stint that I did in North Carolina when I lived in Charlotte for about four years, um, they were college years. So that was all anyone ever wanted to do. Was like, what are we gonna do? Well, we're gonna go out and we're gonna go down to the bars or we're gonna do this, we're gonna do that. So I drank a lot. That's what you did.

Barb 2:27

I I didn't, but this is delicious. Yes. I'm going in with some kind of grapefruity. Yes.

Lyssa 2:34

It's definitely giving grapefruit. I would say that 100%. So we'll keep you. Yeah, I'm excited to just episode. I'm excited to just keep drinking it. That's what I'm gonna do.

Choosing Your Morning As The Boss

Barb 2:43

I love that. You do that. So this morning. Where are we going today? I I love the way that this is starting out. So this morning we pull up to Slate, right? We have a laundry list of things to do, as many of us do. Our entrepreneur, our hats, our all the things, right? There's a never ending ending to-do list, and we're starting to change the narrative on that, which is the to-do list is is supposed to be never ending, because if not, then I don't have anything to do. And that sounds sad. Right. That sounds like not the life that I'm curating. That's not what I'm going for. We get here, we're kind of chit-chatting in the car before we unload Judy and all the things into Slate, and there's a spectrum across the street, and he just kind of like he walked back and forth a couple times and like saw us just laughing, having a good time and vibing out in the car. Like, I this looks like a really cool place to work. Like, I wish this was my morning, and we giggled and said, you know, that's what that's what it looks like to be the boss. Yeah, I get to choose my mornings, and we're starting to unload all the things, and I'm making fun of us because we look like crazy bag ladies. And the margaritas were in the car. Yes. And then in my head, I was like, Well, how funny. Now I what if I told him, like, now we get to drink too? You just saw us vibing out and having a good time in the car and laughing, kikiing, getting ready for the day. And little do you know that my day also consists of a margarita at 10:30 in the morning. Woo! That's what I'm talking about. What a beautiful life. Yeah. So this is my preface to go into our conversation today we have built a beautiful life. We have built a life that we truly want to live because why not? Sure, I want to drink a margarita, a grapefruit margarita, a sex in the city, or a sex in the beach. Yeah, at 10 30 on Wednesday, why the fuck not?

Lyssa 4:43

Yeah. That sounds like a good time. Sounds like I did it right, you know, and I can't be mad at that. I think that I've been soaking that in a lot more recently in my entrepreneur life, my full-time entrepreneur life, like really embracing that. And it is. My day can look however I want it to look. And it made me feel like a little hippie the other day. We were on our next level icon call. Um, it's just like a little mastermind where we get together, all the CEOs get together and we chit-chat and we talk about, you know, things that are happening in our business in order for us to kind of find those pain points, get that 30,000-foot view on things that we can't see because we're too close. And, you know, some of them were going through these things and they were just kind of talking about the to-do list and the endless tax and how do I do all the things? And if I time block, I can do this, and if I time block, I can do that. And I remember just being like, yeah, I just look at what you have to do. Like, time is all made up. Like time, time's not real, guys. Hey, hey, CEOs, you guys are all out here make bank. I want you to let you know that those time blocking, that schedule, that calendar that you just adhere to so deeply. And I don't want to make it sound like we don't, because our calendar be looking crazy. And we use it extensively. And you have to be able to understand it as it's just a tool. It's just a tool to help you complete tasks because time is all made up. And being able to not live by a clock anymore, not tell, have someone tell me when to clock in, when to clock out, when to eat my lunch, when to do this, when to do that, and now that's in there, right? My calendar has this is the time I take a lunch break, and this is this. But having that underlying foundation of time is all made up, and that these are just the things I have to do. And I made them look nice and neat on this calendar in our order. But if it doesn't happen that way, that is okay. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with shuffling things around, it doesn't have to look crazy. Like we kept Oliver home yesterday from school. He needed a day. And I was talking to Darnell. He's like, okay, do I need to change this? Well, can I I can do that? I was like, no, my day is going to proceed as normal. I just have a kid attached to me now. Like, there's nothing wrong with that. And there is such a beauty in knowing that that is how I'm building my business, that that is how I'm living my day every day. Like, I just feel so good. I don't feel trapped. Feel blessed. I stay blessed.

Barb 7:23

Stay blessed. I love that you shared that because I was telling you in the car that I read our horoscopes that came up on the feed, and I read both, duh, obviously every time. Me first, then you. Every time. Read mine, then I read yours, and it hit. It hit, they both hit with me. So your Leo horoscope was all about continue to live in your authenticity, continue to like grow those deep roots in in you and who you are because that's where you are in life. And that is such a perfect prime example of a Lisa, yeah, 2026 version who's spewing time. I mean, real, it's not real. It's not real. The shadows are off, the shadows are off, the shadows are off. And you're so happy. And I can see how happy you are, and I can feel how happy you are, and that is just so happy.

SPEAKER_01 8:27

So many happy feelings.

Barb 8:30

All because you've worked really hard. You worked really hard to get to this level of happy, and like go you, because it wasn't a walk in the park at all times, but you kept walking. Yeah. And now you can look back and say, Holy shit, I this is completely different. This park is so different than the last park I was in. And that's really cool to watch. I think so.

Lyssa 8:53

I love that. I I love that yesterday's quote that I posted up to was Um, Today I'm holding gratitude for the previous versions of me that kept going. Because it was not easy. It was not easy to keep going. And this version of me is just so happy. Like I'm just I'm happy go lucky. I just feel like I always have a smile on my face. And like, even when things are happening, I can recognize how a previous version of me would have popped her lid. We talked about that recently. And I think since talking about it, my awareness is just heightened as to how many moments actually transpire in a day that I could allow to let my day be completely ruined by or let it just completely throw me off. And and I don't do that anymore. And obviously, right, everybody has their moments and things are gonna happen. I'm not trying to uh insinuate a perfect record over here, but you know, the day-to-day the shit gets hard and it gets rough, and it can be a lot to carry. And I I carry it now with a grace that I did not carry before. And I think it's just so important to acknowledge that and to be grateful for that, and to, you know, this version of me gets to live the good life, and I'm I'm grateful to the previous versions of me that kept it going for her.

Gratitude For Past Versions Of You

Barb 10:21

Yeah. It when you were saying that, what came to mind was like dragging something up a hill, right? That's what it felt like. It was just like you everything was holding me back, yeah. And now it's much more manageable, right? It's the backpack, it's the bag, it's the bag, right? And we we can hold it all with a different grace. Yeah. And kudos to you, dude. Kudos to us. Kudos to you too. You're doing the thing too, girl. So my horse on me was all about um the magic of taking a break.

SPEAKER_01 11:03

Do you hate it or what? Do you hate it or what? I know, right? Do you hate it or what? I don't know why. I don't know. I should have gone there.

Barb 11:13

And yet, that is hilarious. That is hilarious. So it talked about, you know, taking the breaks and building the structure because the magic lies in that. In the taking the break for the structure and all the things. Take more breaks. Take more breaks. What do you mean? Um, so I'm learning. Yeah. Uh, four months into this year of taking more breaks. And I'm learning, and I think I'm ready to share with our world that I might be getting it. I might be getting it. So something that I don't know if like we've ever talked about on the pod. I worked with our boyfriend for a year almost on like my food journey and my health journey and all the things of like taking care of this body and slowing down and all the things. And it was a wild ride. We learned so many things. We had so many great conversations, and I implemented all these new things, and I'm now starting to see the fruits of those of that working, of the sewing of you know, whatever fruit, I guess.

Lyssa 12:36

She said, I lost it. I lost it. Yeah, it's gone.

Breaks Routines And A Holistic Health Shift

Barb 12:39

And I now have a morning routine, and I now have an evening routine, and I didn't notice it until we were on the call, the C our CEO icon call. Yeah. Where I was able to share, well, this is what I do, and this is what's helpful to me. And then from saying it out loud, right? We we talk about sometimes you're in it and you can't see it because you're too close. I'm the one that's writing the schedule. I'm the one that's saying that no, in the morning you should stretch and you should meditate, you should do the journal, and like that's what's gonna help you. Laying in bed, scrolling on Instagram for the first 35 minutes that your eyeballs are awake is probably not the best use of your time. And on the call, sharing and being pulled out into that bigger view. I saw it and I was like, holy shit! I did. You did do that doing it, and it doesn't feel like a burden anymore. It doesn't feel like, oh, I have to do this, right? Another CEO shared that it's just like another thing on the to-do list, and that's how it felt. I was just another thing on the to-do list, and that was not important. So I always fell off because all these other things on the to-do list were quote unquote more important. And now I am just as important as all of those other things. I give myself that time to do the things that I need for me, for my body, for my mind, for all the things. And I think I'm learning how to take a breath before look at you.

Lyssa 14:23

I love that. I think that's special. That's special on so many levels, right? Like I'm biased because you know, I sleep with him, but he is so smart, right? And he has such a gift. He is uh a certified nutritionist, um, he's a certified personal trainer, like he has truly built a huge portion of his life around health and wellness, and he is such a vast wealth of knowledge that it is one of those things that you don't necessarily think that you need. You know, like I eat, so like I don't need help with these things. I go to the gym, so like I don't need help with these things. And the way that he goes about it and the way that he works with you, and the way that he weaves in real life and your life specifically, it's very similar to all of the people that we kind of have in in our corner. Um, because they are they are the ones that help take you out and help you see how this day transpired in this manner. And do you see these parts where you didn't eat? Do you see this where you didn't move? Do you see where you didn't do it? Do you see how you didn't take care of yourself today? I feel like that's what he does in in a much safer, gentler environment. All the things there, yeah, but he holds space for the space and doing all of those things. And it was something that, you know, there's there's a ripple effect, you know, for that. He he's helping you or helped you to change this story within your own self, and what a gift that is for your own self. And now you you get to go change other people's lives. That that ripple effect is just so real and it's so special. And it's, you know, it's rippled into me, and it's rippled into your family at home, and all of these things that can now change because you took the time and energy and space to do that, and there was someone there to help you do that. We talk a lot about like our money story on here, right? Because we're business people and we kind of want to share that, and and all of that is great. And I don't think people understand that you also have a food story, and the food story runs so much deeper than the money story, and it's so much harder, and there are so many things that come up in that that have nothing to do with food, that have nothing to do with the gym, that that in a way have nothing to do with your physical health and everything to do with your mental health. And we don't take mental health into consideration when we're talking about our food and our nutrition, right? We we separate all these things, and I think that's what I love about his work is that it is so holistic that it takes all of those things together because all of those things actually matter. And you don't even see because you're way too close, and you've been feeding yourself for what you can attribute to your whole life for as long as you can possibly remember, and you don't even realize that how you feed yourself and the manner that you feed yourself and take care of yourself actually is attributed to such deeper roots that you probably didn't even know were there. And don't want to touch like living proof, I guess, right?

Barb 17:54

Yeah, and everything that you said with the you're worth it. A lot of people kind of talk themselves out of it, or I think it's always like the money. It's just too much money, yeah. There's always a cost factor, and that's always like the first uh resistance. Yeah. And you're worth it, you know. L'Oreal has something.

SPEAKER_01 18:22

Probably, yeah.

Barb 18:24

It's what what better thing to spend your money on than on you? You made the money, why not spend it on making yourself or helping yourself better yourself? Yeah. Um, and do it. And it's not gonna be the greatest walk in the park. Some of those calls were hard. And the time that I sat in between thinking, well, why do I do that? Oh my god, I've never thought about why I go the entire day without eating and then eat one meal and then like eat everything afterwards. Yeah. And that's uncomfortable. It's not a walk in the park. No one wants to walk through that park, but the park after so good.

Your Food Story Runs Deeper

Lyssa 19:11

I think that's what the moral of this episode is. It really is about just trying to stick through it because when you get to the other side, when you break that pattern, when you are able to see the fruits of your labor, when you're able to finally be like, okay, that's why I've been doing this this whole time, it's so worth it. And the universe is always gonna test you in that, in that way of like those, those things are gonna get harder, right? These these patterns are always going to surface, and you can't necessarily avoid them. I think that's the biggest part is that you think, like, oh, well, I fixed that part of me, and now I can just go about my life and I'm not gonna have to ever see it again, you know. It's like, no, because guess what? You're gonna fix your food story after you work with a nutrition coach for a whole year, and then you're gonna go on vacation. And I was like, what? What is life? You know? So it's like you have to just I think people want that fix. They want, they want there to be an ending. And I think if you just understand that it's not about the destination, that is this is 100% journey, then you can kind of embrace life from a different lens. You can kind of you can float, you can glide through life when you understand that this is all about the journey. There is no destination. You're gonna constantly be flowing through, you're gonna constantly come across this thing that's just not so hot. That big ass wave is gonna come in, it's gonna try to crash you down. And sometimes it might, but if you know that this is just another time that this stupid wave is gonna crash me down, and I'm gonna come back up because I always come back up. That that pull, that what is that called the time in between, that is going to just drastically decrease, decrease every single time to the point where you get to what we were talking about in the beginning of this call where things don't really bother me anymore. Right? Like I don't let things bother me. The lid doesn't pop the way that it used to, right? Because I know that now every time something like this happens, where in the past my lid would pop. I know I'm just gonna get past it. I know I'm gonna get over it, I know I'm gonna move on. So there's no need to dwell into those feelings, and I think that is just another, another part of life, another part of the journey.

Barb 21:34

Uh, I love that visual and might will 100% be stealing it for your husband. We have been diagnosed with officially, and I and it's not something I'm happy about, right? Right. It's also something that is not shocking to any of us. Yeah, there is a certain lifestyle that has to happen so that. You don't get diabetes and you just weren't on that path. But now we are. We are we find ourselves at a this space where I have to look at him in the face and say, Well, like, what do you want? Do you want the soda and to die in five years, or do you want to make a change? And obviously the change has been made, he's done it, and it's hard. And he's kind of like on edge, getting through that murky, like sluggish, and just all the things where I'm sure it's not easy. He was drinking soda like it was water, and now he's not drinking it, and he's taking more naps now. Yeah. It's just is there's a transition period that we're in. More medicine and all the things, right? His body's kind of going into a state of shock. You're changing it. So the body needs time to process. Yeah. And it's been hard. It's been, you know, lots of conversations of well, what are we gonna do? Right? Like, let's make the plan. And I think this ebbs and flows ocean reference could really help him. He used to watch Deadliest Catch.

Lyssa 23:29

Okay, okay. I can see that. I can see that. He's gonna like it. He's gonna be like, oh, he's gonna be able to see it. I get it. Yeah, yeah. So think that's I love that. Well, I'm I'm happy to help. And I know this is, I feel like it's again, Bo, it's one of those things where you you did this for a whole year and you worked on yourself so well in this manner, in this particular sector of your life, this health and wellness. And, you know, trust the timing of your life. I I do believe that even though we've been on our health journey for a while now, right? We've been ebbing and flowing ourselves. You honed in specifically because now you have a foundation that he can stand on top of. You you are able to ground him and you're gonna be able to take him through this journey of what he's about to experience that is so out of his wheelhouse. It's gonna be so uncomfortable for him. But how lucky that he has a wife that worked on herself, that gave herself that time and space to be better and is now in a better space to help him.

Barb 24:32

What a lucky guy. Well, a lucky guy. I love him so much.

Diabetes Wake Up Call At Home

Lyssa 24:36

And I can like bark say something at the same time. Yes. I know. And that's and that's that's one of the things though that takes it for all of us, right? Like, I have literally all of my lineage has diabetes. You know, that was one of the things that like I had to I had to look at myself in the mirror. And I'm sure that if I went and got blood work right now, I'm sure things are not gonna be fantastic. I don't think I have diabetes. Um, but I know that I'm not perfect in that manner, right? But I'm taking those steps. I'm taking my health into my own hands. I think that's the the biggest thing that we could have done for ourselves. And we didn't know what we were doing then, right? Because our health journey 1000% began and was rooted in I just want to be skinny. Yeah, I just want to be so skinny, you know, and in all the yes in lack. And again, pushing through it, those previous versions, previous versions of ourselves. I can't, I can't be mad at the version of Elisa that just wanted to be skinny because that's the version that got her in the gym. That's the version that was able to bring her awareness higher and higher and higher till it got to the point where she realized she actually needed to be in the gym for a much different reason. And then realizing, you know, that it wasn't about the gym. Then there's the version of Elisa that was like, shit, you need to get your eating together, you know, and little by little, and now look at where that's taken us. We feed ourselves in a much different manner than we used to. Our plates look different than they used to. We even go as far as getting the most delicious meal prep available to us because we only want the best of the best in our bodies. That is not what I used to do. We just talked last week. How did we get through on our lunch breaks? Mine was a bag of Doritos and a Pepsi.

Barb 26:33

Mine was a king-size Kit Kat bar and a Pepsi. Yeah.

Lyssa 26:38

That was my lunch. That was my 12-hour shift.

Barb 26:40

On a 12-hour shift.

Lyssa 26:42

That was it. That's what I used to do to me. I ran on sugar. The fuck? Mm-hmm. You know, so it's like when these diabetic, pre-diabetic diagnoses come back, I can't be mad at it. I was pounding Doritos and Kit Kats and Snicker bars and sodas as a snack and my lunch and sometimes my dinner. But now I know better and I do better. And I think that's just that's where that's where we're at now. And I feel like a lot of times too, we hear the well, I've just always done it this way and this. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care what you've always done. You could do things differently. And there you can change today.

Barb 27:24

And you my thing is you don't have to like everything you need. No, you don't have to like going to the gym. You don't have to like drinking freedom broccoli. You don't have to like drinking water, but you have to do it. I don't know. You gotta do it, right? That part, I will make myself do things I don't want to do because I know they are good for me. Yes, I'm not out here making myself stick a needle in my right. Like I no, I don't want to do that. I don't want to have to make myself give myself insulin, right? For example, I'd much rather make myself go to the gym and not like it. That's fine. Yeah. But the alternative I'm really, really not gonna like. Exactly. And you don't have to like everything you do to do it. Yeah.

Doing Hard Things For Your Future

Lyssa 28:15

I'm gonna put that on a bumper sticker. You just gotta do it sometimes. Sometimes you do. I think that's the biggest actually trying to get that through to our son currently. Because we're definitely in that phase of like your life has been so fucking fantastic. And now you're getting older and responsibilities are coming through. And like the weight of responsibility. Weight of responsibility. Um, and so you know, it has been a lot of like, I feel you. I feel you don't want to do that. Guess what? Me neither, dude. Me neither. I'm really annoyed that that dishwasher is still broken. I am tired of doing dishes. I feel you. That doesn't stop me from doing them. You still gotta do it. Um and that is something that I am. I'm trying to, I'm trying to build because that's a superpower that I didn't know we had. And I feel like it can be wielded for bad because we wielded it for bad for a long time. And now we wield it for good. Because now I will do the things that I don't like doing because I know that they are better for me. They are the best thing for me, they are the best thing for my body. And whether or not I want to do it, that's what I need to do. And what's crazy is that you will see how when you do the things you don't want to do, you actually learn to like them.

Barb 29:30

It's not that bad. And want to do them. It's not that bad. Going to the gym is not that bad. We're actually going back to the gym for the first time since all of these vacations. And I'm low key excited. Nope, our body needs this, and the stretching and the eating and all of the things because I am trying to be here representing my best self, not running off of Kit Kats and sodas and having the jitters and not being able to focus. No, I want to give each client, each meeting, each project, you, Jeff, Darnell, Oliver, Annabelle. I want to give everybody the best version of me. So I have to do the things. I have to take the break. I have to live authentically, I have to do all of the things so that I show up as my best self. So that no, like you should show up as your best self too.

Lyssa 30:29

It's worth it. It is. It's worth it for you, and it's worth it for your community. All right. This feels like a good place to love and leave our friends. So this is the part where you're gonna do all the things. You're gonna like and follow and subscribe. You can follow us on Instagram and YouTube at Marks and Mindset Podcast. And if you're local to the ROC and you want to party with us at Homemade Events ROC. Until next time. Bye. Let's drink. Yes. And then go to the gym. See, you just gotta learn to do it. Do it your way, authentically.