Better People

The calendar flips to spring in Rochester and suddenly it’s go time: events stack up, the pace accelerates, and every tiny crack in your business systems shows up all at once. We’re fresh off a one-day retreat called Scaling For Sustainable Success, and it gives us the exact mindset shift we need to step into busy season without melting down. Not because we find a magic template, but because we realize the real work starts with the person leading the business.

We talk about why the most effective business retreat experience we’ve had doesn’t begin with revenue goals or marketing plans. It begins with self-awareness, identity, and leadership. We share how breathwork and visualization keep landing for us, even when we doubt it right before it starts and how releasing old stories changes the way we make decisions, handle pressure, and show up as business owners. If you’ve ever felt like you’re “bad at this” after one messy day, this conversation is for you.

Then we bring it straight into real life: four events in three days, a full array of challenges, and a totally different response than we used to have. Instead of spiraling, we problem-solve in the moment, plug holes in our workflows, and treat mistakes like data. Yes, we even talk about the scissors problem and why “buy more scissors” is sometimes the most honest operations strategy. We also share a coaching line that hits us in the chest: you can’t judge your whole career off your worst game.

If you’re building a small business, scaling an event business, or craving sustainable success without burnout, hit play. Subscribe, share this with a friend who’s in growth mode, and leave a review with the biggest system you need to build next.

Music Track: Building Dreams by Aylex Source: https://freetouse.com/music Copyright Free Background Music

Music Track: Building Dreams by Aylex Source: https://freetouse.com/music Copyright Free Background Music

Transcript

Episode 130 And Finding Our Groove

Barb 0:15

Episode 130. 30. 30. Who knows? I don't know. I don't know, but I'm having to be in our 30s. I shocker. It's crazy to be here every time. It's crazy to be here to remember that we started at number one and how hard it was. And now 130 episodes later. Yeah. And we're in the flow. We have found our groove. I feel like we feel like we're podcasters now.

Margarita Taste Test And Catch Up

Lyssa 0:46

Oh, I love that. That was cool. I watched a podcast documentary and it left me walking away saying I'm not a podcaster because everything that was in that documentary, everything that she was going through and had done, I'm like, we are not doing those things. And you know, some of them we are, obviously, because we have a podcast. We have 130 episodes. So we are, but she lit a fire for us to take it a little bit more seriously. And I like saying that I'm a podcaster now. I do all the things. So what's in your cup? Yeah, let's jump into it. I don't know.

Barb 1:21

I don't know either. I don't even want to guess until I taste it because I will. Well, it is a margarita. It is a margarita. Yes. So we have a fancy margarita provided by Seared and Sacrum.

Lyssa 1:32

Let's salud. Salud. Our new favorite um segment is now to try and guess the flavor that she's giving us. And last week, the first week we were wrong? Last week we were right. You were right. I was right. It was a classic margarita. All right, let's go for this one. What is it? Orange juice? Is it pineapple? Is it pineapple? Orange juice? Is this tropical? Are you tricking me?

Barb 1:58

Is there more than one in here? Interesting. Either way, it's delicious. No, it's very, very delicious. So we'll put it up to see what it actually is when the time comes. Um, but we have a very, very cool episode to get off of our hearts that we get to get off of our hearts. Um it's spring here in Rochester. You can't really tell because it's so cold outside.

Lyssa 2:25

It snowed yesterday.

Barb 2:27

But things are coming back to life. Events are starting, people are kind of coming out of hibernation mode into a celebratory planning, yeah. The events kind of thing.

Lyssa 2:39

We're turning back on, essentially. We are coming back to life. We ourselves as a business are now finally coming out of hibernation. This last weekend was our back to work. It was our weekend back to work. Spring. It was our first, yeah, first day of spring. Um, locking in all these events.

Barb 2:58

So we had four in three days, which is, you know, always fun. Classic Bar Lisa. And we kicked it off with a full-day immersive retreat. Yes. Hosted by Rayanne Lacatina and Dominic Piacentini. And wow.

Spring Shift And Event Season Starts

Lyssa 3:21

I love being on their team. Like I love so much that we got to be a part of this experience. So essentially, what this one-day business retreat was was a little nugget, a little taste of what we completed in our weekend retreat, which we have the that whole episode about how transformative that retreat was. And especially the the parts where Ray Ann and Dom worked together and and kind of provided um sessions and services. And we did like a breathwork thing and how transformative that alone, let alone the entire weekend, was. Um and yeah, now we're we got to do it again. You know, we got brought in to to bring this whole element to life for more business owners and kind of scale it down into like a bite-sized one-day retreat. And wow. And wow. That was a big bite.

Inside The One Day Business Retreat

Barb 4:20

It was immersive, it was full of knowledge, it was full of love. Yeah. But you could feel, I felt the love that they were pouring into the room. So it was just magical. Yeah. Um, and as we were planning it, again, right, we have uh a different lens, a different view to these events because we are the ones planning it. So we kind of know the schedule and the outline and the agenda before any of the guests do. Yeah. You walk in that day and you experience this, but I know what to expect to expect. And yet I still had no idea what to expect. The night before we looked at each other and said, okay, well, what is our intention, right? Everyone was supposed to submit an intention for what they wanted to get out of this one-day retreat. And as the planners, sometimes we don't get to do that, but we did. We took a moment to pause and to think about what we wanted to get out of this because we knew it was going to be a transformative space. Yeah. And we're in such a beautiful kind of nugget in time with our business where she is just blossoming and flourishing and doing all of these things. And we need more. We need more structure, we need more support. The business is growing, the demand is growing, things need to change. It can't run the same way that we started. And this one-day retreat gave us such a different foundation to run our business and filled me up as a person, separately from the business.

Lyssa 6:13

It was called scaling for sustainable success. And we were making a little light of it because we were like, what's our intention for this? And I was like, Well, I want to scale and I want to be successful and I want to sustain it. And I was like, does that count? Am I allowed to use the all of the words and the definition of what it is that I'm asking for? But that's truly what it was. And I could feel how both of them are also at that juncture in their business. So there was almost no two better people that I want to talk to me about scaling my business than those that are currently doing it right now. Scaling their businesses, seeing the success of that, and now turning around and saying, Let me help you up on this next step. That is beautiful. Why would anyone not want to be in that room? They they wanted to be there. And I felt that from the very moment that we started planning it, how much they wanted to bring this to life. And that type of energy is just inspiring to just sit at the table and listen to them speak and hear their stories and have them tie in all of this knowledge that they have about who you are as a person and how that affects your business. I think what sets their retreats apart for me, because we've been to a couple other business retreats, is that it is not about the business. We actually don't go in there and talk about our businesses right away because that is almost the secondary part. You have to be the a certain kind of person in order to lead your business, in order to lead it into scaling and doing all these things that they were trying to teach us that day. But before we even get there, you got to know who you are. And a lot of times people don't stop and take that into account. They think that this is a business and that they only need to focus on business things, business related, and they don't necessarily see themselves and their own personal growth as being business related. But they are literally the same thing. And so to have two people who understand that concept so wholeheartedly, holistically, and now can get a group of business owners together and help them see that as well, help them transform into different people so that way they can go out and show up as better business owners all on their own. They don't, we don't need Ray Ann and Dom to teach us to be better business owners. We need them to teach us how to be better people. And thus I will then become a better business owner because of it. And like that is so powerful to have that investment in yourself and let that investment speak through your business. I I personally eat that up for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Barb 9:04

Give me goosey, you know? And that was one day, one seven-ish hours. Eight-hour day of jam-packed experiences. Because truly, you know, the first half of the day was for something and the second half of the day was for something else, but all culminating to how do we build structures? How do you pour into you so that you can pour into your business? And they did another round of that amazing breath work visualization thing that you had mentioned. This will be our third time experiencing it. This two times in person, once virtually. Yeah. And it still hits.

Why Personal Growth Drives Business Growth

Breathwork Visualization That Still Hits

Lyssa 9:54

I wrote about that in my journal this morning. Um, specifically the three times part, because that is the craziest thing to me. The fact that I'm like, well, it just happened once, you know, this is my first time. Of course that's crazy. And then it was like, oh, well, this is virtual, so it's not gonna work. Nope, it worked. It definitely happened. And then even this time around, I was like, it's different. We're, you know, we're here. This group of people, it's just a different space, different environment. I just, I honestly didn't think I was gonna tap in. I don't, I don't know why. There is just this seed of doubt every single time that that comes in right before these these meditations. And every time I'm just I'm left being different. That was one of the things that, you know, that night I they had feedback forms and I peaked and I read some of the feedback forms, and it made me want to like deliver my own feedback, right? I didn't write a form, I was working it. So, like, but I was still a participant and it really compelled me to thank them for the work that they're doing because this is three times now that I've been able to experience this specific element that they are trying to build. And three times I've walked away a different person. It's undeniable. How can you not want to be around people and participate in something when I always end up a better person in the end? Every single time that I walk into these moments, I'm like, hmm, I don't know what's gonna happen here, and then magic happens, and then these this visualization, this release, it all culminates and makes me a better person in the end. In order to release and let things go that no longer serve me, and then be able to visualize what does serve me, what serves the future me, and call those things into existence. It sounds woo-woo, right? It sounds like magic, and in a way, it absolutely is, and it doesn't make it any less real. It is 1000% real. Dom has this energy that grounds me and it gives me a safe space to release what no longer serves. And then Rayanne is this like beaming ray of light that comes in and fills all the holes that I just released with pure love and joy, and then I become out of that a better person, letting go of the things that don't serve me anymore, and filling that space back up with nothing but love and happiness and joy. And how do you thank someone for that? How do you say thank you for giving me love? How do you say thank you for helping me release traumas that are stuck in my body that I didn't even know were stuck in my body? But they are, and now I walk away feeling lighter, I feel freer, I feel happier, and it makes me show up differently in my life. It makes me show up for the future self that I was visualizing that whole time. And now I get to be that person, right? Because that's what all this work is for. It's so that way I don't just think about that person, I become that person. And that's what she says at the end of all of these, right? Like, now you are them, right? Now you you let go of the mirror, you drop the veil, you do the thing, you step into that new version of yourself. And I I just I do that every time, and I love it. Like, I how can you not love being a better version of yourself? And there's no other way to really thank someone for that, you know? There's no way to convince someone that they need it or should do it. It's more so of just sharing my experience and letting you know that this shit is real and it will make you a better person, and it will make you a better business owner, and it will make you a better mother, and it will make you a better leader, it will just make you better. So, is that not the goal? It's my goal for sure, and so I want to be around them all the time.

SPEAKER_00 14:45

All the time. I want to be all reserves everywhere.

Barb 14:49

I'm here to sell out stadiums. That's who we are, right? Instantly, yep, this is this is it, this is what I want to do. And please let me do this for you because I believe in you. Yeah, I believe in them separately, together, their work, their ideal, like just all of I believe in you. Yeah, so I want to invest and give you what I can. And what I can do is give you this. I can I can do this really, really good so that you can do what you do really, really well and give that to more people because more people need this experience. More people need to learn about themselves in like an inside way. For so long, we focused on the outside, the the working out, the all of all of the check mark things and I can see now how I ignored the inside things, how I ignored the traumas and the triggers, and I'd never thought about my future self before. And that's crazy because TV shows and media, it's everywhere, every everywhere. And I never took the time to stop and think about what a future me could look like, could sound like, could be. What are her wants? What are her needs? What is she like to do? And they gifted that to me for the first time. And every time it breaks me a little, like I get a little broken afterwards because that is just there's so for me, I'm getting tongue-twisted, there's so much feeling. Yeah, that I thought well, I guess I didn't, I smushed and it's almost like it has to come out. You can't smush it down anymore. It has to release, it has to come out. And I like, does not compute happens a little like boofering. Yeah, yeah. And like everything that you said, it you need that in order to be a better human, you need to release. You can't just hold everything in. And then how beautiful to get up from that experience, that meditation, that 40, 45 minutes of deep inner work and then go see how that applies to business and how it can go hand in hand, and how you can work on yourself and then become a better business owner is nuts. And everyone needs it. And that's why everyone needs to come to these retreats because you just don't know. Yeah, right. We could have said no to that retreat, we could have said no to that experience, and uh part of me didn't want to because I knew it was scary and I knew it was gonna be transformative, and like, well, what does that mean? I don't know, I've never been that person, so like I'm initially I'm scared of that person, yeah. But to trust and to know that that safe space is there to hold you and to guide you. It's amazing. Yeah, it's amazing to feel loved in that way, and I can see why we're a little damaged and feel that, but it's it's just the love that they put into what they do. And it shows and you feel it, and there's an undeniable correlation to becoming a better person and a better business owner. So much so that we found ourselves this weekend at other events thinking about ideas and thoughts and structures to make our business better because we sat in a room with them for eight hours. It was that the direct correlation of now, I'm gonna sit in this room and I'm gonna be uncomfortable and I'm gonna be a little bit broken, and my software is gonna run a little slow afterwards. And there's going to be a direct correlation eventually to me needing to scale and build structures, and I can do that now. Yeah. And we did that this weekend in real time, and that that like broke my rose glasses.

Lyssa 19:07

The timing of our lives, right? We say this a lot on the podcast. It's to trust the timing of your life because it will never cease to amaze how these things line up. Because I think, again, going into this weekend, it was literally exactly what we needed to be in the forefront of our mind. I needed this spring kickoff weekend to start with this business retreat. I needed it to start with this space that was teaching me the structures that I needed to put in place to scale my business and to be a better business owner. Because when I went into this spring weekend and I had some challenges, there were definitely holes in the structure. There were there were things and hiccups that happened along the way, right? It was this underlying foundation of every time something happened, we immediately tied it back to the retreat. We immediately tied it back to something that we learned, something that we could implement, something that was there for us the whole time. We just didn't know how to use it until we saw that hole in our business. And we were like, okay, I'm gonna take that thing that I just learned yesterday, and I'm gonna plug that in right here in this spot because there's a hole there, and now I need to put this there. So what I love about this weekend and our array of challenges that we experienced. Array.

Barb 20:32

That's cute and true. It was an array of challenges.

Releasing Old Stories And Meeting Future You

Lyssa 20:37

Was that we it's not our first time. Nope, right? It's not our first rodeo. And we had many arrays, we had many arrays of challenges before. But what I loved is that this it felt different. We was different. We used to get in the car, aware of our misfortunes and berate ourselves hard. Like, and just go in on ourselves and we would sit in silence and the anger energy. Yeah. Because I have to yell at me silently, dumb, you know. Like I would just be so mad at me. I can't believe you fucked that up. I can't believe you forgot that. I can't believe you did that. That is, you know, and I walked home or went home Friday night, being able to say, I made some rookie-ass mistakes. Rookie, we have done nothing but talk about how we're almost five years into this business and all the things that we've learned. And like, you know, this winter season podcast, episode after episode, is us just hyping ourselves up. And that's exactly what we were supposed to do. And then on Friday, the first day of spring, I had a piece of humble pie.

Barb 21:47

You know, the university is serving us out sometimes, and you just gotta take it.

Lyssa 21:51

And I was just like, how are you making such rookie mistakes five years in, you know? And it really Was in that moment where if I don't think that if we didn't have this retreat the day before, that we would have walked into this weekend with all the things that were happening and been able to laugh it off in a way and be able to just be like, no, this just means that we have to put this structure in place. This just means that we have to fix this system. This just means that this needs to adjust. It was such in the moment problem solving. We were being so quick about it. It was like, I'm not gonna waste time, energy, thoughts, and emotions on being mad that I forgot the fucking scissors again. You know, like it is what it is. I don't put my scissors away. The bag never has scissors. I just gotta we just gotta put scissors everywhere. We just buy more scissors. Thank you. Thank you for buying more scissors. And it just, it really is what it is. But it was this whole, it was the whole picture. It was the fact that challenge after challenge after challenge, where I was like, okay, one of these is gonna break you. One of these is gonna make you so mad that you're gonna say, fuck this whole weekend. I don't want to do this, like all the things. And that moment never came.

Barb 23:09

And that just speaks to how you become a better person, right? I, in the beginning, the anger, right? All it's it was it's innate. It's my it's my go-to response. It's my low level. I am pissed. Yeah. Why? I don't know. Pop in the lid, as Rayan Lagatina likes to say. Instantly upset. And this weekend, there was, I wasn't upset. I wasn't angry. I didn't feel the fire just like raging. It was just more like, okay. All right. This is okay.

Lyssa 23:46

You know what it was? It was the mirror. And I feel like there, what it used to be is it used to be a trigger. It was this trigger of I don't know what not good enough. Yes.

Barb 23:55

I didn't do enough planning.

Lyssa 23:57

I fucked it all up. Yeah. I just, I, why am I not doing this the right way? And the lid would pop. And it wasn't like that this time. This time was more gentle.

Real Time Fixes During Busy Events

Barb 24:09

And we did the job every single time. They were home runs to the crowd. Yeah. And it maybe wasn't a home run for me, right? But you don't need to know that. That's for me in this podcast. For me, it was a little different, but for the client experience, it was a home run. And if that's not perfect, then like it's perfect. Yeah. I hit the home run. I learned we got some shit to clean up around here. Okay. Girls, your girls got some work to do and we're kinder to ourselves. Yeah. And we're more gentle with ourselves. Yeah. And afterwards, I stretched and I did all the things so that I could continue to release because data has shown that when we do that, we feel lighter and we feel brighter. And we can take on whatever humble pie the universe wants to serve to us that day. So immediately after this retreat, we have an opportunity to implement the learning. And as an educator myself, I love that. That is my favorite. And I can't even imagine that because we were in moments. I'm shaking my head like this is crazy. And I'm fixing the issue. And I'm not getting stuck and I'm not expending unnecessary energy. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. All because two people have something to share. Yeah. Because they love what they do, because they love serving other people, because they want people to be better versions of themselves. That's amazing.

Lyssa 25:59

Yeah.

Barb 25:59

But the ripple, the the aftermath of all of that is just the aftermath sounds bad, but it's like in a beautiful way.

Rookie Mistakes Without The Spiral

Lyssa 26:09

Yeah. It's the outcome of what they give, you know. And I think that's important for them to see that and to know that because what they do is it's so transformative and it's also hard to measure. You know what I mean? Because it's so subjective. It is each person's individual journey that that makes it what it is. And that's why I feel like it is so important that we do share our experiences with them because this is the social proof. This is the testimonial. This is what everyone needs to know when they're like, oh, should I do that? Do I go to this? What does that even mean? You don't need to know what it means. I didn't know what it means. I've done it three times and I still don't know what it means. But I know what I feel and I know what I walk in there with, and I know what I walk out of there with. And those things are unmatched. And then, like you said, when I can take that and immediately implement all of those teachings right into my business, that's gold. It's literal gold. You made my business better. I had to experience all these things to see the holes, to see where the gaps were. So I can't be mad at the gaps. The gaps have always existed. I just couldn't see them until now, until you opened up my eyes, you made me aware of them. Now I can fix all these gaps. And now we just got finished deep diving our next batch of events, and they're gonna go off flawlessly. I have no doubts because we filled all the gaps that happened from this weekend. It's never about being a hundred percent all the time. Like we can't judge ourselves off that. You know, I talked about going home Friday night after eating that giant piece of humble pie and maybe the whole pie. And, you know, I was talking to your boyfriend about it, and I was just like, we were making rookie mistakes. We did this and this, and I just started like naming all this silly shit that that happened. And he was just like, I once watched Kobe shoot two for 20 in a game, and I was like, okay, wait, wait a second. Did you just compare me to Kobe? Thank you. Thank you. I immediately feel better. You don't need to say anything more, no need to explain. Um, but he did. Like he he really like coached me in that second, and I felt I felt so seen by him in that moment because we work so hard, we try so hard, we do all the right things. We practice, practice, practice, practice, you know, like we put in the reps. And sometimes you just can't have your best game every single time, right? Like you, he said that he was like, you can't judge your entire career off your worst game. Like that's not fair. And it was such a mindset shift that I was able to, again, immediately make in that moment where I was like, okay, even Kobe has bad games. It's not a bad thing. I'm not a bad business owner, I'm not bad at my job. All these things that I would tell myself. I used to tell myself, you are not good at this. Clearly, you would not have forgotten these things if you were good at this. And now that story is gone. Dom helped me release that story from my body. I do not believe in any way, shape, or form that I'm bad at this job. I actually think I am fantastic at this job. Yeah, you know? And now I get to live that and be that and hold those nuggets in me and know that I'm great at this. Everybody makes mistakes, everybody's gotta eat humble pie every once in a while. And then you just go in and you fix it and you make it better the next time. And I think that we ended our weekend beautifully, perfectly, exactly the way they were supposed to.

Kobe’s Bad Game And Needing Coaches

Barb 30:01

So you shared that little coaching nugget with me and like it hit, right? Basketball fan over here, Kobe. Yes, thank you. Like give me all the positive reinforcements, and it made me realize that I guess I knew it, but now I I know it with my entire being. Everybody needs a coach, and coaches come in an array of different people and knowledge base and all the things. But you need a coach, I need a coach. Everybody needs a person in their corner that is going to give them and meet them where they are. Right. That nugget, you needed that because as soon as you told me that, I was like, oh my god. Yeah, right. Okay, it was such a relieved shot two for 28, then at least I hit home runs. Right. And all my clients were happy. It it really it gave the the weight a little, like, okay. Okay. And that is what Dom and Rayann do, right? Individual coaching with them, the retreat, it it is all a form of I'm here to coach. I'm here to give you a different perspective. I'm here to maybe give you a one-liner that you've never heard before, and it's gonna hit home with you. Yeah, give you a different way of thinking about the business. Maybe it's not you, maybe it's your structures, maybe it's your systems, maybe it's a lack of and take that responsibility off of your heart and make it more actionable. Yeah. And everybody needs that because as the business owner, I'm close, too close. It's my heart. This is my baby. So, no, I can't always see because I think my baby's perfect. And everyone needs the coach to be there to give a different shift, to give a different lens to help when you're like, what the hell am I doing?

Lyssa 32:02

Yeah.

Barb 32:02

And I'm just grateful that we have them. And I'm grateful to be in community, and I'm grateful to help bring these moments to life. And I just can't wait to keep doing it and grow and get it bigger because I think everybody needs this Kool-Aid. It's not bad Kool-Aid, it's the best Kool-Aid I ever drank.

Gratitude And Where To Follow

Lyssa 32:21

It's magic Kool-Aid. You're so funny. No, I I couldn't, I couldn't agree more. I think all of that um really does summarize what what they were able to give us um, not just in the one-day retreat, but in the weekend, like and in our business forever. Every time that this happens, we change something for the better, whether that's in ourselves, in our business, in any way, shape, or form, in a relationship, just anything, right? Because nothing changes if nothing changes. And I love that they gave me that ability to change and to see my change, to be fueled by more change. And I'm excited to keep doing it and to keep changing and to keep getting closer to that future version of myself and to always keep growing that future version, right? Because there's always a future version of me. And now having that awareness of her, I love her. I want to be with her all the time, and I can't wait to be her and keep reinventing her. Uh, and that's really just how I want to live my life because I think it's the best way to live your life, and you can't thank someone for teaching you, showing you, and giving you space to be whole. Because that's how I feel. I feel whole.

Barb 33:49

Grateful to be here. I'm just grateful to be here. Absolutely.

Lyssa 33:56

Well, this feels like a good place to love and leave our friends. So, this is the part where you're gonna do all the things. You're gonna like and follow and subscribe. You can follow us on Instagram and YouTube at Marg's and Mindset Podcast. And if you're local to the ROC and you want to party with us at HomeMade Events ROC. Until next time. Bye. Oh, dog. It's been a minute since you messed up your podcast.