The Thirteen Magical Nights

Ready for a year that actually feels different? We open 2026 with a grounded surge of confidence, a clink of margarita glasses, and a candid look at how two weeks of family, silence, and sawdust helped us integrate life and business without losing our spark. From the relief of getting meal prep back to the reality of running separate households, we explore what happens when routine disappears, awareness expands, and gratitude takes center stage.

We share the “13 magical nights” ritual we tried—imperfectly and honestly. Thirteen intentions on paper, twelve burned to release control, one kept as our job for the year. That process surfaced the stories we needed to rewrite: letting go of judging ourselves for trying new things, and learning what “taking breaks” actually means for people who rarely stop. Through journaling and messy action, we found practical mindset shifts that invite trust, cut down on chasing, and turn intention into behavior. If you’ve ever worried about doing growth “wrong,” this segment will feel like relief.

A multi‑generational Christmas became a live seminar on parenting phases and legacy. Toddlers tugged “I need you,” big kids wandered free, elders held quiet wisdom. Seeing the same party through different lenses changed how we set goals and how we teach our kids to handle change. That continued with Oliver’s room upgrade: a metal “O” from newborn days came down to make space for Star Wars and Crunch Labs. Watching him say “you can let it go” reminded us that identity evolves—and our environments should evolve with it. We finish by naming what integration looks like now: aligned priorities, systems that support energy, and a single intention we own while the universe co‑creates the rest.

Subscribe, share with a friend who’s craving a fresh start, and leave a review with your one intention for the year—what are you choosing to own in 2026?

Music Track: Building Dreams by Aylex Source: https://freetouse.com/music Copyright Free Background Music

Chapters

• 0:00 New Year Kickoff And Banter
• 1:30 Holiday Break And Meal Prep Gratitude
• 4:20 Separate Households And Missed Connection
• 7:00 Cohabitation Plan And Home Renovations
• 10:40 Entering The New Year With Confidence
• 14:50 The 13 Magical Nights Ritual
• 20:40 Messy Action And Journaling Insights
• 24:20 Belief, Manifesting, And Personal Change
• 28:00 Multi‑Generational Christmas Reflections

Transcript

Barb: 0:15

Episode one hundred and twenty. Twenty twenty twenty sorry. We gotta say it the same. So edit one. Twenty? Twenty? You want me to say twenty? Twenty. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04: 0:36

You I feel like you enunciated the T. 120. Okay, but I said me.

Barb: 0:48

Episode 120.

SPEAKER_03: 0:53

I can't say it like that. So 20. Wait, okay, just tell me how you're saying it. I'll listen. 20. 20. Got it. 21, 22, 22. It's because I taught kids. Exactly.

SPEAKER_04: 1:04

You're I get it. I'm stupid. You're not. I will get this. You can teach me. I am I am coachable. If anything, 2025 taught me that I am very coachable. So coachable. Okay.

Barb: 1:15

Episode 120.

SPEAKER_03: 1:20

Oh my god.

Lyssa: 1:23

This is our first recording of 2026. Official. Official. What is in your cup? A margarita.

Barb: 1:31

And I didn't make it.

SPEAKER_04: 1:33

I'm excited. We made it.

Lyssa: 1:34

Seared in sacrum. I can't wait. Man. Last. I need salud. Happy New Year.

SPEAKER_04: 1:40

Happy New Year.

Lyssa: 1:44

Oh my God. That is delicious. Delicious. I'm not putting it down. I'm going to keep it right here. Yes. Small tangent over the holiday break. Seared as well as ourselves. Took a much needed break. And in the new year, today's the first day back to our mark, back to our meal prep. I had what was it? Brown sugar glazed meatloaf and mashed potatoes and broccoli. You had a bacon cheeseburger bowl with like homemade Big Mac sauce. I'm sorry. I missed you guys so much. Please don't ever leave ever again.

Barb: 2:23

Very malnourished while not having meal prep, which made me so grateful. So grateful for meal prep. Those two weeks gave me time to like realize all of these wonderful things that we've put into our lives that I can no longer live without. If I had to make myself lunch every day, I would go back to not eating lunch every day. I'm so grateful for them and their magic and their gift to the world because like it is such a gift. Yeah, no, it really did.

Lyssa: 2:54

They it showed the impact, right? In my head, I was like, oh, it's just two weeks. Like I can do this, right? I've been feeding myself for 36 years, you know? Like I can definitely feed myself for the next two weeks while they have their vacation. And I just found myself so sad. Many days being like, damn, I wish I could just pop something in the microwave right now and be done and just eat and know it's gonna be delicious. Like I just have to put so much effort into something tasting tasting delicious. Whereas when someone else makes it for me and then I just have to microwave it and it's so delicious.

Barb: 3:27

What a gift, what a gift. So grateful to them, so grateful to us. And like we are kicking off 2024 in such a beautiful like way. I'm so proud of us. I miss you so much because I think what we have to share with the world is that while people would think, oh wow, you have two weeks off. You must have spent so much time together. No. Big buzzer, the big red buzzer went off. It's actually the opposite. Yeah. When there are breaks in the schedule, when there is like time off, that is when we kind of meld into our own silos and we have to take care of the house, right? We do run separate households. Yeah. And there are responsibilities that go with that and all the things. And like, love it. It was great. What an amazing two weeks we gave ourselves. And I'm so happy to be here with you. I fucking missed you, man.

SPEAKER_04: 4:28

So much.

Lyssa: 4:29

I think I ran in the house this morning and I was like, we survived. We survived the holiday break. Like, like you said, people assume that, you know, we're just like together all the time, which you are right most of the time, but we do. We take these these moments um to kind of give time and space to our individual families and our individual households. And it does mean separation. And so, like, you know, I just miss you so much. And I I just need everyone to know that it was a hard time. Um, but so many good things, you know, happening in there as well. And it has been, it's it's been only two weeks, and it's felt like so much longer, I think just because I had I didn't have to. I chose to pack so much stuff into that, right? Like I am right in the thick of executing our cohabitation plan, and everything just needed to kind of, you know, be done. We we got through all of the talking parts of the plan. Planning and now it's action. So I had to, you know, sh I I've got to shift my focus these last two weeks and kind of put homemade a little bit on the back burner and be able to prioritize my home needs and those responsibilities and getting everything ready and you know, keeping up with the home reno because wow, home renovations as a whole tangent. Um, you know, and just kind of like doing all those things. But I I felt like I had capacity to do so. It felt good to kind of ground into my home, um, to take this time to like really do that. And I feel like that naturally happens, right? At that time of year, those last two weeks of the year that slow down almost don't feel like real time because you're just kind of like in this bubble almost of the end of the year. Um, so yeah, being able to kind of like focus in on that, um, it did feel good, you know. So while I miss you more than anything, there are so many good things that did happen over these last couple of weeks. Um, and it it's it is. I feel like we've jumped into 2026 like cannonball. Like I'm I'm here now. Like we did so much planning for the business to get ready for this. And then I took the last two weeks to get my home and my personal life ready for this. And now I'm just like, I feel like I got like a train, you know, and all the all the little things that I carry are all kind of just like locked into place, everything's ready to go, and now it's just time to like take off. And I'm excited because I I can feel that energy like that we are about to take off because there are just there's so many things happening this year in these next couple of months, and I I don't know, I just can't wait. I'm excited.

Barb: 7:13

It's definitely going to be a year like none other, and I think we have to expect that every single year. And it's crazy to think about, right? Because our job hasn't changed, we're still the same business, but it's gonna be completely different this year, and we know it, right? We're aware because we have data to show. And this year, we are walking into 2026 with 2026. I cannot okay. We're walking into the new year with a confidence that we've have not had before. So while we are the same business, we are walking in with confidence and knowing a full body knowing that I got this. Yeah, and this is the first time I felt this. This is the first time it's felt so aligned and so easy and so like, okay, no, this is natural. This is what we do. And I'm proud of us for sticking it through. Because if we didn't stick through the very uncomfortable parts, we have so many podcast episodes talking about shit's getting really uncomfortable, and it's asking me to the universe is asking me to shift, and that shift is uncomfortable. But look at where it got us. And I'm and I I'm just so proud. Like I'm oozing with excitement to go and make all of those dreams come true. Yeah. Because I know that I can. That's what it is.

Lyssa: 8:47

It's the fact that we know that we can. I that is the lesson that I took from 2025. It is that if I say I'm gonna do something, I I'm gonna do it. I have the ability to do it because I thought it, I believe it, and therefore I can do it. And we actually did um the 13 magical nights. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about that. Um, so I know nothing about it. Um, I saw one reel and I said, I need to do this. Um and it very much felt like that moment where you see all those reels where they say, do it messy, right? Just like just do it. You have to do it. And that's kind of what this felt like. I kind of saw the reel and I didn't at the time, I saw it lit a little bit later. So this is something that needed to begin on the winter solstice, and I'm pretty sure I saw it like the day before. Um, and I was just kind of like, okay, well, I have like no time to like sit and think about this and like really plan it out to get in like all that. And so I was just like, okay, well, then maybe I just do it next year. And there was that little voice. I was like, well, why? Why do you have to wait till next year? Like, you have time, you have time right now. You can do it literally right now in this moment to be perfect. It doesn't have to be perfect. Go get some freaking paper, follow the rules, and just do it. Um, and so I did, and we both did. Um our boyfriend, Darnell, he actually did it as well with me, which I that could be a whole tangent for another day, but like just wow, you know the power of that. Um, so yeah, we essentially starting on the winter solstice and you do it for 13 nights, um, you set intentions for yourself for the new year, and you write down 13 of them. And over the course of the next 12 nights, um, you burn 12 of them. And on the 13th night, you open the last one, and that becomes your intention. So essentially you write down all of these intentions because these are the things that you want to bring into the new year, but when you burn it, you are essentially releasing how that happens. You you give it to the universe to bring that intention to you. You don't chase it, you know, you attract it. And then the one that you open up on the 13th night, that becomes your intention. That becomes your job to bring that to life into the new year. And that was really cool. It was a really cool process. It was, it really did become a ritual every night of like having to do this. And I definitely didn't do it for 13 nights because there may have been a couple of nesty, right? That's where it got messy.

Barb: 11:32

And we didn't plan for it. Something like this, there's a lot of intention that goes in a curation for it to come out as magical as you want it to. Yeah. And it was messy. We were like jotting things down. I didn't have time to like sit and think about it, which also meant that I forgot about it some night. And I'm like, uh-oh. Well I'll just burn two tonight. It's okay, right? Like I'm getting there. I'll get to one. Exactly.

Lyssa: 12:00

I was like, the whole point is to like burn them, but like, does the universe really know whether I burnt it on the 13th or the 14th?

SPEAKER_04: 12:05

Like, I don't think they do, you know?

Lyssa: 12:07

So we went with it, right? I still, each time I was going through this, and I feel like this is just crazy, right? The way that it works out. Each time I messed up, quote unquote. And I was just like, damn, it's okay, I'll just burn two today. And then like the next time I was like, okay, I'll burn like three today. You know, I was like, oh shit. And then, you know, and then there were the few nights that I was like, okay, I'm burning it. And like those felt good, those felt felt intentional. Um, but those ones where I missed, like, I felt myself being like, oh my God, like just get it together. Like you're doing it wrong. Like I was judging the way that I was doing this ritual because I was like, well, that's not how the lady on the reel said to do it, you know? And then on the 13th night, I opened up my last intention. And my intention that stood through all of them, that is my job to bring to life this year, is that I will not judge myself or trying new things. And I was just like, well, if this is just, you know, like the whole way through I was judging myself. And even when I opened it, the first thought that I had was like, well, this is not the one I wanted.

SPEAKER_03: 13:22

Not one. Like, wait, there were just like so much better ones that I wrote down.

Barb: 13:28

So I didn't know this is not you, but I actually wrote them down twice. Oh. So I have a master, but that's the teacher. That's the teacher view.

Lyssa: 13:37

Because that's exactly what I said. So I had the thought of like, oh, well, I actually like, I was like, well, this is not the one I wanted. I wanted a different one. And then I went back and I was like, well, which one would you have preferred? And I could remember zero of them. None of them. And in my head, I was just like, well, you are such a dodo, you know? Like, you should have done this. And then I realized I was judging myself. And then I kind of, you know, I tried to find the good in it, the the silver lining to like not do that. But I almost liked that I don't remember them because they're not my job to remember. I I'm not supposed to bring those ones to life. That was burned and left to the universe and to create and bring to me. Um, so I'm glad that I don't really remember them. Um, but I am also mad that I don't remember that more than what I wanted to remember. Um, but I felt that. That to me, that was the immediate lesson. And I was just like, well, that's because this one you're clearly feeling the most resistance towards. Because why did you immediately reject it? Why? Because you want to keep judging yourself. And then when I said that, and I was like, well, no, I don't want to keep judging myself. And I was like, then why don't you want your intention? Ooh, look at the power of that conversation.

Barb: 14:49

Seriously. Change, action, all the things. I love that. Yeah. Um, mine, I opened it and my so I'm not gonna tell you what it was. I'm gonna tell you. I opened it and I read it and I was like, what does that even mean? Like, did you not write it? Did I write this or did someone else come and write this 13th one? Because it was actually the 13th one. I numbered them to them too. I love that even more. But this shows the difference, right? The difference in the brains, the difference in the way that we do things. It doesn't have to be one way. I we still got to one intention, no matter which angle or way we got there. Yeah. So yeah, it was number 13. And it, you know, I will take breaks. And I opened, I was like, what the hell does that even mean? What does that even mean? Right. Yeah. And then there was that lesson is that I don't know how to take breaks. Which is like, I don't know what that means. So what we did after reading the intentions, we tried to make it more intentional because you know it was messy. Yeah. Like, okay, no, we're gonna pick it up at the end and cross the finish line. We journaled about this intention. So I kind of sat there with this. Well, I don't know what this means. Same. Now write about it.

SPEAKER_03: 16:04

Yep.

SPEAKER_04: 16:05

It was probably one of my shortest journal entries for sure. Didn't take up the whole page.

Barb: 16:11

And I gave myself permission in that short journal entry to it. Maybe you don't have to know what it means. Yeah. And maybe you just get to figure out what it means. Yeah. Because I was having such a hard time trying to figure it out. Trying to figure out take more breaks. What does that even mean? So the fact that we are willing to just try to just do it. It wasn't perfect. Next year I've already thought of like three. All the things I'm gonna do differently.

SPEAKER_04: 16:46

So many ways.

Barb: 16:47

And that will come, right? The more times you do things, the better you get at them. And I'm just proud. I'm proud of the messy action that we took, and I'm proud of the trying to, you know, let's put it together at the end and make it so cute.

SPEAKER_03: 17:00

So cute.

Barb: 17:01

And then I looked at it and I was like, but there are a lesson already separately that we have walked away with and a new perspective for the new year of okay, you need to, I need to stop judging myself. Yeah. And I need to take more breaks. And what does that mean? I don't know, but maybe we get to figure it out this year. Yeah. And how cool is that? I think that's pretty damn cool.

Lyssa: 17:24

And it does. It feels it feels like things are happening already. And I think that's because, you know, you are in control of that. You're in control of your feelings, and I am choosing for it to feel differently right now because I want to evoke change, and therefore I need to feel differently in order to make that change happen. Um, so I do. I I very much am leaning into this side um of the woo-woo, of the manifesting, of the year of the snake and the year of the horse and all the things. Um I just I feel the power that it gives me because all of this stuff really just helps you to believe in yourself. That's all it is at the end of the day. The umbrella is that it helps you to believe that you can change your life for however you want it to be. And what why would you not want that? You know, why would you not want that power?

Barb: 18:19

So and we've seen the outcome. We have completely changed our lives, so much so where other people are turning to us and saying, Well, wait a minute. Yeah, like you are a completely different person. You move differently, you talk differently, you like everything is just different. You're so funny, so like you're still you got it, and you've changed. So, like, how did you do that? We've had people like ask for our help, and there is no denying that, right? I can't say, oh, well, you know, that's a nice thank you, thank you. No, we have to own that. We have changed, and we are becoming role models to our friends in our family, and like that is crazy to me. Because if I could impact anyone, why wouldn't it be my friends and family? Yeah. The people that have helped get me here, the people that have believed in me and have supported me and have done everything they could so that I can get. No, like I want you to get here too. Yeah, absolutely.

Lyssa: 19:23

I know, I love it, and I think that's like a fun little tangent to just kind of lean in. I think, you know, uh like most people, the holidays is a time for us to spend with our our friends and family. And we did. We got to kind of spend that quality time and really just I don't know, such high awareness. Like tangent. Oh, next tangent. Um our Christmas party. So we had our family Christmas party over at uh Didi Betsy's house, and it was all the cousins and all the cousins' kids. And it was a huge generational movement. Like there was so much awareness that I was holding inside of that home as we were living these experiences that truly was just like blowing my mind in the moment because there was that awareness that we were the little kids. I used to be. I used to be that little kid running around this house on Christmas Eve going nuts and just hanging out with my cousins and making the memories that I made. And now my kids are currently doing that. What a you know, like same people. And I saw I saw all of the parenting levels. Yes, yes. All the generations. All the generations. So we literally, right? The matriarch of Dity Bessie, you know, being there. And there were kids, what, I think the oldest one was 14. So we had 14-year-old kids to 11 days old. Okay, so that's the age range that we have currently in this house. And therefore, the parental levels, right? We have the parents of the teenagers, the parents of these big kids, the parents of these little toddlers, and then these parents of this 11-year-old day-old baby. Like, and the overall experience of the party from each one of those levels. Yes. How vastly different. We each were at the same party in the same house. But no two parents in that home had the same experience in any way, shape, or form. And what energy I think to just kind of like be around and what happiness and sadness in a way you can hold at the same time. While we were the older parents, you know, we were the elders. Um and we were the parents of the big kids and the teenagers. And we were watching our cousins with toddlers and just how different it was. How that parenting level just required so much more time and attention. You know, they just wanted to be around you and they wanted you to hold them. And they pick me up just over and over, you know, and like you can like sneak out to be with the grown-ups in one room for like a second, and then you gotta like go back because they need you. She kept saying that too. She said, I need you, mommy. I need you. In the cutest little two-year-old voice, how could you not comply? But it really was. It was just like this moment of like, wow, like I remember that. You know, I remember that phase of parenting. I remember having a little baby that needed me and wanted me and was just like attached. And, you know, this time around, this Christmas, I didn't even know where he was. I was just like, where are you? Are you still here? I don't know. You know, just like that that difference, you know. And then for, you know, Titi Betsy, these are her kids bringing in kids. What? That's all I gotta say. Because I can't, I can't, as the teenage mom, I just can't even think about my kid bringing in a kid and how just all of this together under, you know, just happening under one home. It's the family dynamic, right?

Barb: 23:36

We we have lost touch with the bigger family unit. We came from really big families and we saw each other like every other weekend, and holidays were always big, and life was just different, and we still have it, right? We were able to go over. We spent, you know, my cousin came up from Tennessee, and it was just like family, and MJ came, and we were we were living in extended family. Yeah, and it was so obvious because it's not the everyday. So we were able to like really hone in on what was actually happening. Yes, there was a party, yes, it was Christmas, but what was actually happening? A family gathering of all the generations came to one house to collect together to experience, to unlock a core memory, to share, to eat and laugh and have fun. And that's beautiful. It's a it's a beautiful thing, and it's crazy because we have big kids now. We've been saying that for a long time. And it was it was never more obvious than at this event, at this Christmas gathering where I we had to see other parents running after their children and we're like, yeah, where are our kids? Yeah. Well, I guess don't don't, you know, go ahead, keep playing, do your thing. Yeah. And we're at a different level and we're at different problems, different challenges, right? It's not easier over here because it's just different. It this is the span of what a family unit is and what happens over time. And yeah, I am feeling the time that we have been on this earth, ma'am. For 36 years. I'm feeling it. And now our kids are growing up, so we're seeing it, right? I'm feeling it, I'm seeing you get bigger, and it's just a beautiful awareness because I think what we are showing to them, what we are projecting to those kids of ours is that you can do anything. And they're gonna grow up believing that. Yeah. And we don't have to wait until they're 30 to like finally believe it. Yeah. So I fully believe they're gonna like take over the world.

Lyssa: 25:59

I so on them, I think the greatest gift that we have given to our children is that we have made them comfortable with change. It's not easy. And yes, it's like uncomfortable, right? Because change and growth is uncomfortable, but they are going to grow up being comfortable with discomfort. And I don't think I could have given you anything better to survive in this world. Um, so I'm like, I'm I'm super proud of that. And I took notice of that um through our cohabitation plan, um, Oliver's getting a room upgrade. Um, and so we had to, you know, we had to start taking things off the wall and like changing things up. And so we're kind of having these conversations, and we were taking things out of his room. I'm just so sad. Um, and I asked him if he wanted, he has a metal O in his room that has been over his bed since I brought him home from the hospital. Like I I bought that while he was still in my stomach. It was a pretty good We found it. Yeah, we were thrifting.

SPEAKER_03: 27:18

We were sniffing else, I think.

Lyssa: 27:20

Yep, and we saw it, and I was like, oh my god, it's an O. Like, I love it. And it's just not something that's common. I don't think that people make a lot of O's because sometimes they really do just look like circles. And so I just don't see it a lot. Um, so I remember seeing it and I was like, this is so cool and it's different, and it's just all these things. And, you know, we got it and we've had it for so long. And I asked him, I was like, Do you still want this? Like for your new room, your new vision, do you still want this on the wall? Or are you ready to let it go? And he was like, No, you can let it go. And I was like, melting.

SPEAKER_03: 27:56

It's fine, it's fine, it's fine.

Lyssa: 27:58

Um, and I was like, okay. And then I started, you know, since we moved into our place that we have um now, like I put these mountains up on the wall, and you know, so I was taking those off. And as I'm taking it off, he's like, he makes a comment about like, yeah, we're we're taking down all these things because we're making room to for a Star Wars room and a Crunch Labs room. And like he just starts naming all these things that interest him now, like who he is today. Um, and I did. I was like having this moment of sadness because I'm I'm taking my baby out of this room, but looking at this boy who is so eager to just like spray his personality on every wall and and really like give himself something. Like he he knows himself. He knows what he likes, he knows what he wants. He was comfortable enough to say, yeah, I know I've looked at that O since I was born, and it's all I've ever seen in my room, but like I don't need to see it anymore. I can let go of that. Whereas I didn't want to let go, you know, inside I'm like, well, why? Yeah, what do you mean? You had this forever. What is it? Is it really bothering you? Why can't it be here? And I had to recognize my emotional attachment to it, and you know, I did. I was just like, he's he's gonna be so comfortable with saying, This doesn't serve me anymore, and I can let it go and I can move on to the things that do serve me now. And I just what a parenting win, all because I'm changing out my baby's room and something.

Barb: 29:33

Well, not all because of that, but because we are setting that example. Yeah, yeah. We're very open. I mean, the awareness came to me because of that. Yes. But we are, and it's crazy. And it's crazy to think that every year they're gonna get one year older, and right, like, and then we move on to them having partners and doing the things, and we're gonna turn into the matriarchs that's it's the Betsy's, right? And that is I I I traveled, I quantum leaped into like, oh no, bitch, this is actually gonna happen. This is life. This is actually the game that we're playing, is like this longevity of family, and it was so obvious. And I think, right, this it it couldn't have happened any other way, and it happened all so beautifully, the two weeks off and the whole culminating year to end with two weeks off, where we truly still right, we had a wedding and we had little things that we had to take care of, but for the most part, no calls, no meetings, and it was just a home. Yeah, we integrated, I feel like everything we learned this year. Yeah, it was a true final, like final exam, and we did it, and we juggled all the things, right? Because the business didn't stop. We obviously still had to keep up with things, but we weren't in it in it. And that shows me that we're integrated. We are fucking integrated. We did it. A plus, I did it. I passed the test. The last two weeks have shown me that my priorities and the things that I find important and the things that light me up on the inside, we're making priority for it. And we're still building our business. And we're thinking about ourselves because we stopped and we did this intention work for ourselves. Overall, yeah, that sounds like integration of all of the hats that we wear and like ace the final exam. I don't know. Yeah, I did it. I pretty much guilt it so 2026 has every potential in the world to be anything and everything we want it to be. And I'm excited to figure it out because I don't have like one thing. I just want to live 2026. Yeah. Because it's gonna be amazing, epic, no doubts.

Lyssa: 32:07

All right, I think that was it. That was it. Our first recorded episode of 2026. All right, friends. This is the part where you're gonna do all the things you're gonna like and follow and subscribe. You can follow us on Instagram and YouTube at Marks and Mindset Podcast. And if you're local to the ROC and you want to party with us at Home In Events ROC. Until next time. Bye. Give me that margarita.

SPEAKER_04: 32:31

What time is it? Time to drink.